Killing Your Inner A-Hole

How to Kill your Inner A-hole in 3 Easy Steps

Written By Sarah Hodges

Meet your Inner A-hole

Everyone has an inner a-hole walking around with them through life. 

Imagine this: It’s just another day, and you’re going about your business at work. Maybe you’re even feeling a little extra confident! …When suddenly, out of nowhere, your inner a-hole shows up.

“You’re such an idiot. You’re never going to get that promotion.”  — Within moments, you feel tense and insecure. Your inner a-hole has you right where it wants you.

“You’re such a loser. You should have gone to grad school like your brother. You can never finish anything.” — Suddenly, you think about your self-involved older brother with his perfect life. You feel hot and angry that he always gets what he wants. Your inner a-hole is just ramping up!

“Maybe if you weren’t so fat, you’d actually get somewhere in life. No one likes a lazy slob.” — You look down at your stomach and immediately suck it in. Your breath becomes shallow, and your heart rate rises. Your inner a-hole ruins your day again. 

You’ve been robbed of your confidence and focus! You’ve been robbed of your peace of mind! Stressed out and distracted, your inner a-hole is sabotaging your promotion by robbing you of your efficiency. 

The a-hole stole your edge.  

It’s time to kill it before it completely hijacks your life.

How to Kill an A-hole

The good news is that killing an inner a-hole is easy! Anyone can do it! — And there is no violence involved.

STEP #1. STALK IT’S EVERY MOVE.

If you want to kill your prey, you need to know its habits, behaviors, and routines. So it’s time to turn up your awareness and pay attention to when and why your inner a-hole rears its ugly head. 

Is it during your morning commute? When you see a particular coworker? How about when Mom calls?

More than likely, your inner a-hole shows up at different times to whisper different insults. So take time to evaluate when and where you’re the most affected. Look for patterns.

STEP #2. HIRE AN ASSASSIN.

Once you’re familiar with your inner a-hole, it’s time to hire an assassin. This assassin has to be the antithesis of your inner a-hole and incredibly stealthy for a total surprise attack.

And there is no assassin more powerful… than an inner cheerleader. 

No one can be mean to their cheerleader! They’re just too encouraging! They remind you that it’s ok to miss the goal once in a while. Just get back in the game and try again!

When your inner a-hole tells you you’re not as good as your brother, your inner cheerleader will swiftly remind you of your many positive qualities.  When it whispers that you’re a fat slob, it will remind you that it’s ok not to be perfect, so just do the best you can.

Most importantly, when your inner a-hole claims you’ll never get that promotion, your inner cheerleader will remind you that you can do it, so just focus and work hard.

If you can’t find your inner cheerleader, imagine what your best friend would say to you. They’d pick you back up, dust you off, remind you how awesome you are, and tell your inner a-hole to “F off.”

Before you know it, your inner a-hole is dead. Your inner cheerleader kills it with encouragement and positivity, and suddenly your stress level decreases, you’re focused at work, and your confidence is back. 

You rediscover your edge.

STEP #3. WATCH FOR ZOMBIES.

Before you decide that the case is clear, however, it’s important to remember that times of adversity create the perfect environment for a resurrection of zombie inner a-holes. 

No matter what, remain vigilant — especially during trial and tribulation. Turn up your self-awareness, pay attention to the thoughts in your head, and if you hear your inner a-hole whispering discouragement again, call on your inner cheerleader. 

Soon your cheerleader will bring words encouragement and compassion, empowering you with the necessary will and determination to get you through your rough patch with resilience.

 –And nothing will be able to steal your edge.s

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